1 year ago 1 year ago

What is Infatuation? Know The Difference Between Love and Infatuation

The word “Infatuation” seems pretty harmless at first, doesn’t it? And initially, it is! Rather, its sort of an escape from reality. Infatuation is a feeling which is usually short-lived and in maximum cases, it is based purely on physical attraction. We are sometimes smitten with a totally attractive stranger and we get all shy, confused, anxious, frustrated and in the worst case scenario, humiliated when things go wrong. Infatuation is quite common among teenagers and its okay as long it doesn’t affect us deeply and we learn how to deal with it in a proper way.

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Now what really causes infatuation and how does it happen?

Simple! We see a person who we find attractive and there we are, totally whipped! They take up our minds, we try to stalk them on every social media possible, going through each and every detail, memorizing their birthday date a million times, checking their likes and dislikes and not to mention, feeling all warm and giddy inside (while blushing) when we realize some of our choices are the same.

Meanwhile, it isn’t like our heart says otherwise. One look from that person and it amplifies everything to that point where even thinking of a destination for the wedding doesn’t seem silly. We exaggerate every little moment that takes place, be it a glance or something, and it feels like maybe, there’s the slightest chance that they feel the same thing for us. But when we get the reality check, we feel crushed.

What is the difference between love and infatuation?

There is a very thin line between infatuation and love and sometimes we forget the difference.

Love doesn’t happen to someone immediately. It takes time to grow. Love happens after getting to know a person entirely, how their eyes light up when they see things they like, how each of their expressions indicates their different feelings, how passionate they are about something, their hobbies and all the little things which come together to make them how they are. Love happens after being with that person in their happiest days but also being beside them at their worst time. Love is finding that person beautiful not only because of their looks but it’s about finding that person beautiful inside out. Love is being happy when we see them happy. Love can last for eternity if it’s with the right person.

Infatuation is usually short-lived and is somewhat an illusion. Infatuation is initially based on physical attraction. We build up a scenario which is perfect and we aren’t mentally ready to see any flaws of the person we are infatuated with. Every piece of imagination is perfect and whenever we come across any flaw of that person, we start liking them a little less. Moreover, infatuation is also based on lust. We don’t usually get infatuated with a person because of their qualities which make them who they are. In fact, we hardly know the person who we get infatuated with. It’s all the physique that does the talking.

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Can infatuation turn into love?

On the bright side, there are some cases (which might be rare, but not impossible) where infatuation might actually turn into love. This sounds like a fairy tale, but fairytales do occur sometimes in real life, don’t they? It all starts with sweet infatuation, which later on gradually moves to short conversations and getting to know each other. And the length of these conversations slowly increases and the infatuation is no longer one-sided. If the mindset, principles, and characteristics of the two involved create mutual attraction, what started initially as mere infatuation can actually end up as a beautiful love story. But if a relationship is based on mere infatuation, there will be insecurity, jealousy, and obsession all the time. There will always be high and unreal expectations and it will hurt when they are not met. And eventually, you’ll lose interest in the relationship.

What happens when infatuation turns into an obsession?

Infatuation is only healthy if it remains within its limits. It becomes an issue when this innocent and harmless feeling turns into a crazy obsession for someone. Once it turns into an obsession, there’s no stopping someone to find out every detail about the person they are infatuated with. And sometimes, during this phase people don’t understand the meaning of boundaries. It takes up their whole mind and they don’t realize their conversion from a love-sick puppy to a downright creepy stalker. And nobody finds that cute!

Plus, if we do approach the person we are infatuated with(which takes an insane amount of guts to do), its better if we are prepared mentally for the rejection. Because not everyone is a pro at handling such situations. It takes some level of maturity to do so. And on the darker side, we have seen many incidents in which people take up inhuman acts when they face rejection. We see cases of acid attacks on a regular basis in the news nowadays. And what’s the starting point of this attack? Infatuation! Recently we have seen that the aftermath of infatuation, which is supposed to be innocent and harmless, has turned scary.

How to get over infatuation?

Another thing about infatuation is that since it doesn’t last long, it’s not that hard to move on (I’m talking about the most likely and regular cases here). And sometimes if it lasts longer, a person might get the feeling that its because they’re in love. And they want someone to talk to. And when they actually do confess, usually they are teased with the person they are infatuated with and this can be very humiliating, especially if you have to face that person on a daily basis. Having to walk into a room with your friends passing comments and giving their knowing smiles while the person you’re infatuated with giving you the weirdest uncomfortable look can be really embarrassing and I’m saying this from my own personal experience.

And in situations like these, for people who are somewhat of an introvert, writing penning down their feelings and emotions in a diary can help. It might also help to get over the infatuation. Moreover its a rather healthy option instead of stressing over it and lowering your own self-esteem.

There’s a reason why the term infatuation is defined as “strong but not usually lasting feeling of love or attraction.” So this temporary feeling should be handled well before it gets us into trouble, isn’t it?