Is she smarter than me?
Does he play better?
He earns more than me.
He definitely has a happening life than me.
Am I wearing better clothes than her?
Her parents are so nice and mine are so strict.
Do you compare yourself to others in these ways? It is okay, you are not alone. In fact, the majority of us do the same.
The basic thing about the comparison is that you already know that you shouldn't compare yourself with anyone. But still, you do it time and again. But what you do not know is the fact that comparison equals to disappointments. It results in you being unfocused, distracted, unhappy, violent and demotivated. You start finding faults in yourself and see all other people being better than you in one way or the other.
Now, some people confuse themselves with comparison and taking inspiration. It is important to know that comparison makes you become like others and inspiration makes you more determined to do better than others. Looking for your own worth is far more important than becoming like others. It makes you the lion in the flock of sheep!
Why Do people compare themselves with others?
Comparison is always an easy way out. This is the biggest reason that people compare themselves with others. We have a habit to regularly judge ourselves on the basis of what others say and states. Then we try to change ourselves for sometimes good and most of the times for worse. Then the next reason is that human beings require a way to cover up their imperfections. Therefore by comparing themselves with a person below them, they hide their mistakes. The next reason is that we want to be on the top so we compare ourselves and want all the good things inside us.
People compare themselves to others in these following cases:-
1. Grades: Grades matter in everyone’s life and in most of the stages. Comparison on the basis of grades is mostly done by the students in their teen’s life which leads them to factors like jealousy and hatred for other people who are doing better than them.
2. Employment: Economic activities such as business or jobs are other areas where comparison takes place. People mostly above 25 years in age compare themselves to their family relatives and friends. A person who is excelling in his work whether his business or job, will always be a target for comparison.
3. Family status: Status matters a lot in today’s society. People do get married by seeing other people marry; people do family planning while seeing others; people do not get divorced even if they are having problems just because of what society will say!
4. Social Media Popularity: This is the center of attraction in today’s generation where everyone is concerned about his or her social media reputation and image. Social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram are the key roots of comparison in terms of pictures, likes, and comments.
5. Financial status: Financial status of any person can affect the other because in today’s life everyone is money minded in some or the other way. The earnings of any person can bother his friends and relatives. Everyone wants to earn more and more which leads to the comparison on a negative note most of the times.
Who do people really compare them to?
It is very obvious that people always compare themselves to the same group of people. A small kid will compare himself to his fellow mates. Similarly, an earning woman will compare herself to her peer group. This is because they know that they have the same tendency as the other person. But when the same age group person does better than us, we get jealous and insecure which makes our emotions out of control leading us to the comparison. But when a person compares himself to a person who has achieved a lot in his life, it is a positive comparison which will motivate him to do something in life.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”
Why a "NO" to comparison?
1. You are your best version!
Every person is unique. Every person has different strengths and weaknesses. We may perform a task very well and fail miserably in the other one. By comparing ourselves to others, we are just trying to take the things that make us special and unique away from us, and like all others comparing ourselves to some mythical norm which everyone follows.
2. Killing the joy of accomplishment!
When we attempt new things, like trying something which initially seems difficult, there is a joy that comes from our achievements. For example, you have started an early morning walking habit. You may get a lot of happiness from the first time you make 2 kilometers in a single day. Then you may enjoy the happiness of going to 4 kilometers in a few days. Then you may start jogging instead of just walking and get achievement from running to 5 kilometers and the list goes on. But if you initially compare yourself to someone who runs marathons, you will get no happiness from the achievements you could be making.
3. A Time Waster!
We only get one small life to live in. We only get 24 hours in a day. Comparing ourselves to others takes time and brains. Unfortunately, our time is limited. What is the need to worry about what others have or have done when we can be taking action to do something which we can and have not tried yet or also the things which we do know and can learn and perform? Therefore comparisons just rob our precious time and nothing else!
4. Efforts are ignored
By looking at someone else’s success, we only see the result which they show. We, in turn, do not see the efforts we might have put in something if we were not able to bring the result. Not every time the result matters, sometimes the efforts put in doing something are greater. To achieve the success we desire, we need to walk on the road to success. It will not help to jump to the destination and make comparisons to those who have already reached there.
5. All Glitters are not gold!
Comparing ourselves to others means we compare what we see in others to what we know about ourselves. It is a fact that things always look better from outside than they do from inside. People who may put up a good front, making themselves look better to the world may be a totally different story from inside. Therefore rather than comparing to people whom we do not know properly, we should focus on self-improvement and progress.
6. Own who you are!
We cannot physically change ourselves so it is better to be happy with what we are and what we have got. We cannot be anything that we want at least not in the case of looks, family and status. What we may gain is knowledge, money, and grades for which we need to work really hard.
7. Can turn allies into rivals!
In a fantasy world, we may celebrate and genuinely enjoy the accomplishments of others. But in real life, nobody is truly happy by the success of others until the person is damn close or family. If we use others as a benchmark to work on ourselves, factors like jealousy may undermine our ability to truly cherish the good things that come to others. If we show this comparison and jealous aspects to others, it can turn our own friends into our foes.
“Every minute you spend wishing you had someone else’s life is a minute spent wasting yours.”