Being in a relationship with a person you envision your future with is a beautiful feeling. It’s to be in seventh heaven with ‘feel good’ vibes in the air.
When love is in the air, then why not settle up and walk down the aisle together?
No doubt talking about marriage is an unnerving discussion, and no one wishes to rock the boat with such a serious talk. But marriage talks are the must-to-have conversations when it comes to taking your relationship to the next level.
Marriage Talks: Finding out the right time
When to initiate talking about marriage in a relationship: after a month, a year or more?
There is as such no hard and fast rule for setting the right timeline. Every relationship progresses at a different pace, and no one but only you can decide the correct answer to ‘when’ for such serious talks.
Here are tell-tale signs to help you decide the right time for gearing up your relationship:
Check your own core beliefs: - Be crystal clear with your real feelings and ideas regarding marriage. Set up your rough timeline as to when is the right time to marry taking your career, health, family, etc. into consideration. Trust your intuitions all the way long. Look for answers within you: -Are you actually ready for a life-long commitment? What are your expectations after marriage? Is he/she the person you wish to grow old with?
Don’t rush, take time: The initial phase of a relationship is you being head over heels in love with your partner. Due to high dopamine level, it makes it difficult to decide if its pure love or just a toll on infatuation.
It is said that the deeper the roots, beautiful and stronger the tree’. Same holds for a successful relationship and marriage. Building a solid foundation comes before anything in a relationship. Instead of rushing and making a wrong decision, take time to understand your relationship, deepen your chemistry and see if it really does work smoothly over the long haul. Give enough time and let your relation mature before you pop the question of marriage.
Don’t be too very late: Its heart- wrecking to learn that the person you love and dream of getting married to wasn’t ever interested in tying knots and run from the basic idea of marriage. In a relationship, making a marriage-related discussion too very late may hurt you emotionally. So, it is a good idea to have a small casual talk and know your partner’s views before getting into any serious relationships.
10 ways you can talk about marriage to your boyfriend:
Men are weak in expressing their emotions. Many of them feel the topic uneasy and complicated, some fear it due to growing divorce scenarios and hence run from marriage talks. Considering these facts, it becomes difficult for a girl to have conversation smoothly.
Here are a few tips to help you:
Know his view: Learn his viewpoint regarding marriage. Such general discussions should be fairly early in a relationship so that you don’t end up in loving a person who was never interested in marriage. It’s a good idea in bringing out the topic casually in a cheerful conversation or so, where you get to know if your views are on the same page.
Initiate it willingly: Are you the person who stands by and waits for your partner to initiate. What if there comes a need for you to start the conversation?“Why me?” is the usual question one ponders on thereby questioning the relationship itself. Gather courage and speak to him instead of delaying further.
Get to the point: After understanding your relationship, make him feel special and let him know that you wish to spend your entire life with him. Don’t make the topic too abstract and stop beating around the bush. Make conversations happen in increments along the way in your relationships and keep the talk not too long.
Make him open up: Conversations are, no doubt, the cornerstone of a successful marriage. In such a serious discussion, try setting a friendly atmosphere where he unveils his fears and flaws. Make him feel comfortable so that he opens up.
Get to know his future plans: Discussing the timelines and future plans- career, the place you would settle and other family plan before-hand would do great.
Don’t be too emotional: Being emotional and excited might drive you into taking the wrong decisions and end up making you underestimate a risk. Also, reducing yourself to tears would make the guy feel uncomfortable and might deviate your honest talk.
Put up your non-negotiables: Few things cannot be compromised. Non-negotiable aspects like your career, job, care for your parents/siblings, carrying their expenses, kids, and issues important to you must be addressed straight.
Discuss your past: For a successful relationship, it is good to maintain transparency, keeping no secrets of the past.
Don’t assume: Assumption and being surrounded by a sea of doubts might end up putting you in problems later on. So, do clear your doubts with the best approach.
Give time: Men, unlike women, least dream of marriage. It’s wrong to pressurize a guy for an immediate response. Also, avoid giving ultimatums. It would do no good except ruining your present relationship. Have patient and give all the time he wants.