7 Ways to Stop Hating Yourself

“The Inner Voice of Self Hatred”


We all suffer from inner tensions and critical problems that affect not just our lives but our mental state also. We start thinking that we are not worth things and that we are so different from others. We do not think about self-acceptance and self-potential and that feeling of self-hatred tends to develop inside us. But is this really required? Can’t we think of the ways to achieve a particular thing or to solve our personal issues rather than accusing ourselves of who we are and what we have done? This inner voice of self-hatred needs to be vanished from within ourselves before it destroys us as a person. 


“I Hate Myself”


Don’t we listen to this phrase so regularly nowadays? One out of five adults is on this track and instead of rectifying their problems; they create these critics about self-destruction. People belittle themselves for so long that it changes into self-hatred and this continues with the obtainment of drugs and other destructive measures. It is never something we are born with, but something we incur within ourselves over a period of time. 




Since it is not a genetical or inherited emotion and is perceived, it definitely occurs due to some causes.

  1. Comparisons: When a person starts comparing himself to others or is compared with others by family members or friends in which he finds himself inferior from the other person, he starts accusing himself of the kind of person he himself is. Due to this inferiority complex, sometimes this feeling of self-hatred arouses.

  2. Social Issues: When you are constantly criticized for something, demotivated, judged or made fun of, then you feel lowered and useless which ultimately leads to self-hatred. A person becomes very negative and non-optimistic in all phases. Ultimately you prefer living alone and cut off ties with any social group.

  3. A disturbing event in the past: Any traumatic experience which still has traces in present, the self-hate feeling grows in a person. Eg rape victims can suffer from this or any molestation victim. He/She might feel unsafe and unsure of the future too.

“After Effects”


Once we start hating ourselves, it comes with lots of after-effects that we can feel in our personal lives. Some of them are mentioned below:-

  1. Loneliness: People who start feeling hatred towards them stop involving with people and limit their interaction with others, therefore, they experience loneliness most of the time.
  2. Depression: There is a high possibility of depression for a person who hates himself because this way he loses all hopes to survive or make things right in his life.
  3. Poor Academics: One doesn’t feel to give his best or outshine in his work life once he starts hating himself because he considers it as useless.
  4. Destructive habits: One attains habits like excessive alcohol, drugs, and smoking because it is the easiest way to ease oneself. These habits are easy to build but very destructive in nature.
  5. Ruining personal relationships: Your perception about others also changes due to this self-hate and you may destroy your personal relationships. 




There is no shortcut to coming out of this situation. If a person wants to stop hating himself he needs to opt one or more of the following measures:


Avoiding negativity: Negativity is all around you but what matters is whether you incur it within yourself or not. Negativity impacts and influences a person the most. So a person who already hates himself should avoid negative thoughts and should carry an optimistic approach. 


Avoiding comparison: Being competitive in nature is a good quality unless it overtakes a person’s mental state. If you want feedback to take it from a reliable source like your friends, family members, professionals like career counseling advisors, limited fellow mates, etc. Taking anyone’s feedback on yourself is not worth. 


Meditation and Yoga: It is proved that yoga and meditation increase patience and self-esteem in a person. With the improvement in self-esteem, a person will avoid thinking about hating himself and his thoughts will be more positive and self- worth.


Forgive yourself: If you have committed any mistake for which your inner self has started hating, then you need to be ready to forgive yourself. One should focus on the present and future rather than the past. Emotions like guilt and shame should not take over your mind. Realization is more important than getting stuck to a particular thing. 


Leave the thought of perfection: The more you try to achieve perfection, the more you will be unsuccessful. Every human does mistakes and this is normal. A person who is not ready to do mistakes and wants to have an error-free attitude will feel embarrassed or ridiculous at times that is why it is not necessary to have a mindset of a perfectionist. Let yourself fail sometimes so that the eager to win increases in you.


Celebrating self victory: One should focus on the good side always. That is why celebrating your achievements and becoming unaffected by the flaws in yourself is very important. This leads to motivation and self-development. It doesn’t matter that the victory is big or small, what matters is the way you celebrate it and find happiness in it. Once you do this, you become more confident and gain a challenging attitude for future and upcoming goals. 


Be with people having a positive approach: Our surroundings make an important impact on ourselves in both good and bad ways. If our friend circle is supportive in nature then it is good for you. Obviously, a better company is always preferred. The people who themselves have a positive outlook on life will be able to help you get out of depression, unlike the people who have no aim in life.




Self-hate is not a word; it’s a disastrous emotion. Dealing with self-hatred is very important for moving on in life because a hopeless person can never excel in life which will not only cost him but will affect the people who are related to him. It is not a difficult process but needs lots of patience and will power. 


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