Love is strange. And still stranger is how we find love with people and in people we would hardly give a second thought to had we not conversed with them in the first place.
Conversation is the basis of all human relationships.
When you are on a blind date or a tinder date, the scariest and sometimes the most awkward part is the initial conversation. You want to skip the small talk and venture into deeper questions but you are afraid to.
Here are 36 questions you and your date can alternately ask each other, which will bail you out from the initial awkwardness and help you gain a deeper understanding of your partner.
- 1) Who's your favorite celebrity and what is the burning question you are dying to ask him/her on a dinner?
- 2) What is your favorite movie and what in that movie touches you the most?
- 3) If you could remove 1 thing/ problem from the world what would it be?
- 4) What do you want to be known for?
- 5) How do you think your friends would describe you to a stranger?
- 6) What is your most funny/ridiculous/ embarrassing experience?
- 7) 3 things you wish someone would understand about you.
- 8)What according to you makes a perfect date?
- 9) What do you look for in a relationship?
- 10) Are you an "I want my personal space as well" person or someone who loves constant care?
- 11) What is your ideal A.C temperature?
- 12) What is the one thing you love about yourself and 1 thing you would love to change and why?
- 13) 3 things you would love to tell your teenage self now that you are in your 20's(or 3 things you would love to tell your 20-something self now that you are in your 30's)
- 14) One mistake that you wish you could go back and change.
- 15)What according to you is your most memorable achievement?
- 16) Do you think you had a happy childhood?
- 17) How is your relation with your family?
- 18) Party/Netflix or books at home/both?
- 19) How would you describe yourself confrontational or non-confrontational?
- 20) What are your expectations from a relationship?
- 21) What are your long term goals?
- 22) What are your long term goals for any relationship/ Do you believe in marriage?
- 23) What jokes are off-limits for you?
- 24) A death that has deeply affected you or scares you the most?
- 25) What are you most afraid of in life?
- 26) Share something with your partner you have never shared with anyone.
- 27) Share 3 things, apart from the obvious, that you noticed about your partner.
- 28) When was the last time you had cried and why?
- 29) Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
- 30) What is life's one truth you are scared to admit?
- 31) What do you find most beautiful about life?
- 32) What were your thoughts about this before coming here?
- 33) Are you a traveler or a homebody?
- 34) What important thing do you think we should know about each other?
- 35) What is your pet peeve?
- 36) Which question according to you should be added to this list?
1) Who's your favorite celebrity and what is the burning question you are dying to ask him/her on a dinner?
This question is great for a conversation starter because everybody has a favorite celeb they would love to chat with, probably they do too, in their heads.
It allows the person to ease and creates comfort because it is a harmless question with minimum chances of conflicts.
This also makes the other person reflect on the question which will help him answer the heavy ones later.
My favorite celebrity is Shawn Mendes and I would love to ask him why doesn't he just accept his relationship with Camilla.
2) What is your favorite movie and what in that movie touches you the most?
This question is also great for starters as it allows the other person to discuss something they are passionate about (most people love watching movies), why they love it and share his ideas and opinions.
Everyone loves to share his/her opinion nowadays thanks to twitter and this question allows you to do just that with minimized possibilities of conflicts.
My favorite movie is Spotlight because it reveals the danger that these journalists can encounter while breaking their explosive stories and how hard they have to work on it.
The plight of the journalists torn between their love and concern for the society and the security of their life is what touches me the most.
3) If you could remove 1 thing/ problem from the world what would it be?
This question is to gain a deeper understanding of which issues concern the person the most. It reveals their view of the world and its present predicament.
If I could remove one thing from the world it would definitely be acid attacks because the trauma, physical as well as mental that these survivors go through is difficult to imagine and almost impossible to bear.
4) What do you want to be known for?
This reveals a person's ambitions, future goals, and aspirations as well as allows him/her to share their dreams with their prospective partners.
As cliche as it sounds, I would love to be known for being committed and good at my work as well as my integrity. To do what is right is difficult but to be known for doing what is right is an amazing feeling.
5) How do you think your friends would describe you to a stranger?
This helps the other person understand what you think about how people view you.
We would all love to know what other people think about us no matter how much we tell ourselves that people's opinions about us don't matter.
This gives you and the other person a chance to delve deeper into your relationships with other people.
I think my friends would definitely describe me as "crazy" because I am as crazy as the word can mean and I love it. They would also describe me as an opinionated, extremely non-confrontational, analytical woman who Hate (read: is terrified) of every animal on this planet and is so dumb that she cannot navigate her way out, is nowhere near street-smart and is the very definition of lazy and messy.
So you see it doesn't only have to be good, the bad aspects can be revealed as well for everyone has their flaws. Just be honest.
6) What is your most funny/ridiculous/ embarrassing experience?
This question allows for some light-hearted moments of laughter. Our embarrassing moments are often amusing and crazy and can give way to some big laughs.
It also makes the other person empathize with our "dorkiness" and makes us relatable because everyone has an embarrassing moment. And as they say, couples that laugh together, stay together.
7) 3 things you wish someone would understand about you.
Human relationships often falter because there isn't much communication and understanding.
We all want to be understood, especially by the people we love the most. This question helps both understand each other and their values as well as thoughts, better.
3 things people I wish someone would understand about me are:-
I am extremely career-oriented and if my career progress is by any means hindered it upsets me the most.
I value criticism and I would rather take the truth than a lie. I am open to brutal honesty and have always been. But false praise irritates me to no end.
I love Hollywood and my obsession isn't by any means healthy;))
8)What according to you makes a perfect date?
This question helps the other person gain an insight into our perfect dates and if the relationship progresses it can help the other person plan dates for their partner accordingly so that they have a good time and you both are not stuck in an event you both don't enjoy.
9) What do you look for in a relationship?
Different people value different things in a relationship and this question seeks to answer that. It reveals what values you hold dear in other people.
I would like my partner to definitely give me my personal space because I value my me-time a lot and my love life shouldn't suffocate my relationship with myself.
10) Are you an "I want my personal space as well" person or someone who loves constant care?
This is one of the most important questions in this list and needs to be answered as authentically and clearly as possible. This is a very important question for the long term.
Most relationships are sabotaged because two people either suffocate each other or isolate each other by not replying to texts and calls and disappearing from the face of the earth for a few days.
Hence, these were cleared in the initial stage would be very helpful to decide whether two people are compatible or not.
11) What is your ideal A.C temperature?
Now, this may seem like a very frivolous question and you are probably wondering why is this on this list but let me assure you this is perfectly justified.
Most fights in a relationship are not as much over "who's that girl/boy?" or "Why aren't you picking up my calls?" as they are over these seemingly petty things like the ideal A.C. temperature, or T.V. channel or movies.
These questions are very important from the point of view of a long term relationship as people move in together.
12) What is the one thing you love about yourself and 1 thing you would love to change and why?
This question reveals your relationship with yourself which in reality is the most important relationship to cultivate.
Your acceptance of your flaws makes you come off as human and creates an empathy link.
13) 3 things you would love to tell your teenage self now that you are in your 20's(or 3 things you would love to tell your 20-something self now that you are in your 30's)
This question sheds light upon your maturity and understanding. It also shows your "coming-of-age" and helps your partner understand how you have developed as an individual.
14) One mistake that you wish you could go back and change.
This helps your partner know what you regret. It acts as catharsis, it also helps to break down your walls to ease you into a relationship. Talking about things helps in dealing with the situation better.
15)What according to you is your most memorable achievement?
To lighten the heavy mood, this question works wonders. It makes you feel good about yourself and helps the other person know your capabilities.
16) Do you think you had a happy childhood?
We need to understand someone's past to help them create their future. Once the past is cleared it relieves the mind. Your partner needs to understand what you went through and how it has affected your views now.
17) How is your relation with your family?
This question is integral in understanding family dynamics and in the long run family matters are important issues.
18) Party/Netflix or books at home/both?
This helps to understand how you like to spend your free time and it serves as a compatibility test because many a relationship has ended on these lines.